How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
