i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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