No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
