I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
