We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
