I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
