I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
