The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
