Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
