that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
