On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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