Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
