I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
