This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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