I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
