At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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