No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
