i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
