She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Semen is not good for contacts.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
