Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
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