if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I supernannyed him into submission
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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