carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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