all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
