He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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