they need to just BURY HIM!
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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