if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
