This girl is more easily done than said...
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
me + whiskey = a bad person
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
