Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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