I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize