Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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