Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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