We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
