So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
