I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
