I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
