She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
