my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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