it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
