I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
And then he peed in my hair
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