why didn't you poke me back
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
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