There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
