I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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