I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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