I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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