i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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