so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
you win again, gameday.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
