Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize