It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize