I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
So. Much. Porn.
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