So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
