she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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