I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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