I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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