Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Randomize
