i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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