I can tuck mytits in my pants
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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