So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
