Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize