dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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