Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You're like the curious george of whores
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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