My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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