I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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