Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
