Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize