if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
