Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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