Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
