i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
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