I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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